Zero-Negativity – A New Goal, or a New Impossibility?

If you look at what you have in life,
You’ll always have more.
If you look at what you don’t have in life,
You’ll never have enough. ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

I am hard on myself. I didn’t realize how much until a recent injury coupled with a new class on coursera.org called, Know Thyself.

It was hard for me to miss my continual allusions to my own carelessness and mindlessness in burning myself with hot grease. Finally my husband put a stop to the verbalization of my thoughts by his comment, “That’s why they call them accidents, Love.”

It didn’t stop my thoughts.

In one of the first few lectures of my class the professor asked us to write down a list of our own traits. When I tried to think of descriptors I was constantly qualifying… Honest? Well, not always, sometimes I avoid the truth. Loving? Well, maybe some days but don’t irritate me on my bad days. Caring? Of whom? When?

I began to see the pattern of my self-criticism. And so I watched myself for the next week.

Now I know that I have more work to do than I realized. Not by becoming more honest, caring and loving, etc. But to let go of my personal goal of perfection and see myself as human. To see myself as more instead of less.

The Student

Life’s Teachers

“Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment.”  Charlotte Joko Beck

My friend says that everyone in our ife is a Buddha to give us the lessons we need.  I agree that I have had teachers unaware.  At least, I was unaware.

I thought they were an irritant, an enemy, a bad influence when seen from any angle.  I thought that my best path was away from them toward an easier way.

Now, occasionally, I give thanks for who I am given.

 

Water

“One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach—waiting for a gift from the sea.”
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea

The beach offers me time for self-reflection. I’m studying my feelings about water.

I love it in all of its guises.

I never tire of the pounding ocean surf or lapping waves at the lake.  A trickling creek or a rushing river create music that reaches my soul.  Even the uneven constancy of my backyard fountain is soothing to me.

Being near water is the magic for me.

Perched high above the ocean on the deck I am content.

I can sit on a rock and contemplate the shifting horizon. Or lie down on a warm log and linger between sleep and meditation.  I can carry my camera and record nature’s art.

Or I can lie on the couch and read knowing that the ocean or river or stream is outside my window.

I will leave the sea behind and return to my garden.  And I will be happy with the small sounds of it.

Water.