Something New – Part 4

“The challenge of the Silver Gate is to reconnect to our regenerative forces and stay connected to them. Many cultures of the world have traditional practices to accomplish this.” Angeles Arrien

I am intrigued by an Ancient European custom cited in this section that is still practiced in some areas of the world. The challenge is to do something never before tried each month. The custom is to do it on one’s birthdate, but I will play fast and loose with that.

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It seems to me that if something has been on my calendar (moving forward month by month) for several years…it may be time. If not now, when?

And so…off to New York City for an Enneagram workshop. With fear (because I’m not sure if I know enough to even begin). With trepidation (because I am sure that of all the people attending the workshop I will be the least prepared).

With excitement (because I am attending a workshop on a study that fascinates me and has become a part of my life.).

The point is to  be doing new things that stretch me. Right?

Okay, then. I went going to New York alone for five days. That was a first.

The shuttle from the airport was a long wait so I decided to take the bus and the metro. There’s another new experience in NYC. It was a testimony to the kindness of people who helped me get off bus at the right stop in Harlem. And I was beyond grateful to the young man who carried my suitcase up the last flight of stairs from the metro.

I rented an Air B&B in an area that is familiar to me, but as I learned last month, the situation is always a bit of a crapshoot.  I could have stayed in my normal hotel but my digs were cheaper and included (I hoped) a real kitchen and room to lounge about in a homey setting. And as it turned out, it was lovely.

I went to two plays and one opera. In my blessed life I have been to many broadway plays and many live operas – but never alone. And I found that I enjoyed the productions just as much being solo, but I really missed the shared experience of discussing the high points.

And the workshop? Spectacular!

If you have the chance to study with either Russ Hudson or Tom Condon, just do it. I threw myself into it wholeheartedly and reaped wonderful rewards. I met great people who helped me on the journey of learning about myself.

Life Student

Life Pursuits

A friend expressed her confusion about how to be happy. I told her that I don’t pursue happiness. Contentment? Peace? Acceptance? Yes. Throw in joy when available and I am happy.

So then I am wondering…do I pursue any of these? I don’t think so. And still, perhaps, I call it by different names.

Well, I don’t think I can chase joy. It comes to  me unbidden. I can only open myself to the moments as they open themselves to me. I am grateful for it and  revel in joy when it comes.

And meaning in life is very important to me. Is my sorting anc culling of what is important in a day a pursuit of meaning? Or does my great pleasure in learning indicate that I am pursuing knowledge in search of some answer? When I corral my errant mind to the present moment and practic mindfulness, am I chasing after peace?

Is all of this the pursuit of happiness?

Life Student

 

 

Faith…and When I Have It

It’s easy to have faith when all is going well, isn’t it?

The sun is shining. My day moves smoothly from coffee with a friend to reading or weeding in my yard…either is as good as the other… and then the trials come (this year it is health issues).  Worry and concern move into gear.

What should I be doing? What if the doctor is wrong? Why am I not getting better? What should I be doing?

Around and around.

It isn’t so much concern over the prognosis. And it isn’t just the question of what path to follow toward wholeness, I get totally involved in micromanaging medical issues which are far beyond knowledge and expertise – no matter how much I listen to advice and read. It all raises an additional question of where to place my faith.

My meditation becomes rife with mind chatter. In some cases I can’t even get to the garden variety menu planning as I sit, visibly calm, invisibly on the high wire. I perserverate on what I will say, what I will do, what I should remember, and what is the worst-case scenario.

It’s always “worst case” in the middle of the night.

That’s why I loved a recent Super Soul Sunday interview between Oprah and Jon Kabat-Zinn*. It brought me back to mindfulness of what I have right now. I don’t know why I always need the reminder that this moment is all that I ever have, but I’m grateful each time I get the nudge.

His additional message was to trust those who I have engaged to take care of my health.  Then I can use my energy to stay calm and do the best for myself without worrying about their process. I needed that!

I can have faith in the process of life and living each moment of it.

The Student

*A pioneer in the field of mindfulness for stress reduction and health benefits.