Tag Archives: Meditation

Learning

Buddha under the Magnolia TreeLast spring I met a man on a ship who, when we were discussing parenting, said, “If I could give my children two things, it  would be to teach them meditation and speedreading. That way they could never sleep and learn everything.”

I’ve thought about it a lot. I am a seeker of knowledge. At one time this winter I was listening to Coursera lectures on Modern Mysticism in Europe, Morality in Everyday Life , Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and the beginning of a class on Soul Beliefs. At the same time, I was trying to catch up on some old Psychology lectures from the fall.

I get what I have done to myself. I have changed my daily walks from a time of contemplation to minutes and hours filled with distraction…albeit good information. What I notice is that after years of walking without earbuds, I am a bit thrown off if I don’t have anything that entertains me. My already busy mind has taken on new dimensions.

I realize that it is my personality* to want to do it all. It is difficult for me to make priority decisions because everything is captivating. I hate missing out. F.O.M.S. (Fear of Missing Something) is my middle name.

At this time in my life my best learning is probably not from college professors. And I may not need that stack of books by my bed.  What I need is to practice what I have already learned.  I need to practice love, thoughtfulness, tolerance, compassion, empathy,

What I need is stillness. Perhaps if I learned that well, I could share it with my children.

The Student

*Couple a Gemini with an Enneagram 7 and you have a peripatetic ball of activity.

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Filed under More Teachers, Point Seven - The Epicure, Self-examination, The Enneagram

Looking for Love (in all the wrong places?)

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
Rumi

I learned to meditate over 40 years ago. After the initial honeymoon my practice was sporadic and sometimes non-existent. I kept meditation in my back pocket as a fail-safe when my gerbil mind wreaked havoc in my life. I used the deep relaxation as a replacement for sleep. Meditation was with me, and not a part of me.

Now that I have a real practice, lessons come more readily.

My self shows up even more regularly since I have added Deepak Chopra’s 21 day challenges to my standard meditation times. The challenge is within me.

“I am loved, lovable and loving.” was a centering thought in the summer sequence. The profundity of this statement rocked my vision of myself.

I am loved.

Yes, I feel loved. I state this boldly and begin teetering on the precipice of doubt. Must love, then, encompass being seen, being valued, being accepted? Am I loved for who I am or who I am expected to be? Who loves me unconditionally? Am I loved at my worst as well as my best?

My conclusion is still yes. Those who love me may not always seem loving to me. They may not approve of my decisions. They may not like my ideas. They may be irritated or even short-tempered with me. They may not even like me at times. And they love me. They support me. They care for me and about me.

I am lovable.

Not so sure about this one!

This cuts to the core of how I feel about myself. Am I worthy? Am I enough?

When I see myself as the child of God and this Universe I comprehend that I am just exactly who and what I need to be. My mistakes do not detract from my being. My winding path of learning is forever in the light.

When I see myself as I want to be, I fall short. I see my self-absorption, my lack of humor, my intensity and my faltering steps on my path.

And so, am I lovable? I can only answer that I am loved. Therefore…

Am I loving?

I am working toward that. If I am, as my teachers say, love; then I am loving. My work does not involve becoming more of what I already am. It is the day-by-day effort of chipping away at the shell around me. It is understanding that only I am capable of removing that protective coating that blocks the love I have to give and refuses access to the love that is due me.

The Student

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Filed under 21 Day Meditation Challenge, Deepak Chopra, Rumi

Who’s Responsible?

I have trouble coming to grips with my responsibility for my thoughts and feelings.

The first time I even became aware of the concept was in the late sixties reading I’m Okay, You’re Okay by Thomas A Harris, MD.  Before that I was the typical “leaf caught in the tide of life”.  As a young parent it was the first time I actually examined my thoughts and reactions as something with which to frame and re-create my “self”.

I learned to look at my thoughts from all directions.  In the early seventies I began practicing Transcendental Meditation.  Then in the late seventies I was jolted into a sense of self-responsibility by Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Your Erroneous Zones. I could cite countless gurus and my meditation practice which has come and gone through the years but is a now an integral part of my life.

And still my thoughts plague me.

I want to blame my moods, my reactions, my discomforts and irritations on whomever my teacher is at the moment. I like thinking that I would be more free, more thoughtful, more productive and more loving if anyone/everyone would just change.

And yet I know that I am the one who needs to change; to recognize and marshall the power of my thoughts. My thoughts are my own.  No one else can dictate them.

I am my thoughts. They help me live my life as who I am in the way I have chosen.  They can help me not dodge and dart in order to please or create my own suffering when I don’t please.

I must learn to easily wear the cloak of my responsibility for myself.  It fits me well and needs no alterations.

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Filed under Dr. Wayne Dyer