Continuing Ed in the Trenches

I am so thankful for those who study and share their insights into life. When I am struggling through the murkiness self-absorption of anger, resentment, hurt feelings; I need the intervention of loving kindness.

Deeply entrenched in negative emotions last week I was gently brought back into mindfulness by Miguel Ruiz on Super Soul Sunday. “Don’t take anything personally”, is one of his Four Agreements.

I’ve read this. I’ve re-read it. I have placed the charming affirmations around my house in order to reinforce these Agreements. And I forget them in the clinches. It is so much easier to blame someone else for my feelings and expect them to change instead of looking to my own responsibilities.

Well, perhaps not easier, but more expedient. In fact, when I assume* that someone will change in order to accommodate my likes and dislikes, I am not only setting myself up for failure; I am attempting to impose my will on another.

These are hard lessons for me to learn. I’ve been in my relationship for so long that I begin to think that I should be known, understood, and accommodated.

As long as I have continuing ed classes from Ruiz and other teachers, perhaps I will get more serious about my homework.

Life Student

*Which is another caution in the Four Agreements, “Don’t Assume.”

Impeccable

Be impeccable with your word.

I’m  quick.  Sometimes I consider this a great virtue and just as often my quickness leads me down the wrong path.

For instance, I’m a darter.  I move without thought.  Because of this I carry bumps, bruises and a collection of scars that continues to grow.  I caution myself as I age…”Slow down.  Watch where you’re going!”

My quickness of movement is not my greatest problem, however.  It is my quickness of tongue.  It is my propensity to blurt out my thoughts.  It is my ability to deliver a clever response in the blink of an eye and the click of my tongue.

When I was younger I prided myself on this.  I had my moments of regret over words that should have been swallowed rather than spewed, but I didn’t comprehend the waves of spiritual damage to myself and others.

I’m still learning to be impeccable with my word:

• To be truthful.
• To be accurate.
• To say only what I mean to say.
• To say it with love and concern.

I’m practicing and learning.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*The Four Agreements by Michael Ruiz.

Be impeccable with your word.

Don’t take anything personally

Don’t make assumptions

Always do your best.

This was written for and originally appeared on Vision and  Verb on May 14, 2012.