The Waiting Game

“Patience is the training in abiding with the restlessness of our energy and letting things evolve at their own speed.” Pema Chodron

“The practice of patience guards us against losing our presence of mind. It enables us to remain undisturbed, even when the situation is really difficult. (…) rather than being driven by our disturbing emotions.” Dalai Lama

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”  Joyce Meyer

The waiting game is difficult  until I settle down and learn the rules. Really, they are the same as the rules of life.

1. The present moment is all I have. I am happiest when I can relax in it and not waste it on worry or fast-forwarding.

2. It is what it is. No amount of mental and emotional machinations will change what it is.

3. Whatever the outcome – good news/bad news – (s)he calls/(s)he doesn’t call – it arrives/it doesn’t arrive..I will deal with it. I am capable and strong and can be flexible.

4.The best I can do for myself is to continue my life as I would do if I weren’t waiting.

Remembering the rules is the trick, isn’t it?

Life Student

 

 

 

Perfection Face-off

Have not fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.  Salvador Dali

Much has been said about perfection.  The word is batted around loosely. The search for perfection is treated as the path to nirvana.

And for me, the need to be perfect is a bit of a hell. My struggle toward acceptance runs head-on to my need for perfection.I am constantly amazed at how many of my feelings of inadequacy, of anger, of fear, (I could go on forever); when stripped to their naked core are my need to be perceived and to perceive myself as perfect.

I recently had a glaring lesson in how ridiculous this is. My blood sugar was tipping about recently together with some other symptoms that could have been related to diabetes. What? Me?

No matter what the outcome of a doctor visit, I felt sure I could handle my issues with diet and exercise. But me? Diabetes? When I pride myself on my healthy lifestyle?*

What was I really afraid of?  Being wrong.  In the face of what could be a damaging disease I found these little squiggy places in my brain that weren’t worrying about the outcome as much as about admitting what was happening to me.

Give it up, girl! Be human. Live with who you are. (I’ll keep talking to myself.)

The Student

*I didn’t visit the concepts of genetic predispostitions, aging with its breakdown of parts, etc.

 

 

Planning vs. Worry

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Corrie ten Boom

“Worrying a problem” is an old phrase. It is evocative…like worrying a piece of thread until it comes loose at the seam. Or worrying a subject until we have looked at it from all sides and are sick of hearing about it.

This phrase perfectly describes the slip-sliding process that transforms planning into worry.

Planning is positive. It is hoping to facilitate with ease and grace. It is getting our ducks in a row with the assumption that they will float to the conclusion. Control issues aside – planning is necessary in most of our lives in order to accomplish the overabundance of tasks and responsibilities that face us.

I don’t recognize it immediately when I cross the line. Eventually, though,  I know that I am no longer enjoying my process. My body is tense. My mind is skipping like a scratched record – revisiting negative thoughts again and again. I am now trying to change a future that may never happen.  I am no longer productive.

Sadly, I am ruining my present moment while having zero impact on the future.

The Student