“Patience is the training in abiding with the restlessness of our energy and letting things evolve at their own speed.” Pema Chodron
“The practice of patience guards us against losing our presence of mind. It enables us to remain undisturbed, even when the situation is really difficult. (…) rather than being driven by our disturbing emotions.” Dalai Lama
“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” Joyce Meyer
The waiting game is difficult until I settle down and learn the rules. Really, they are the same as the rules of life.
1. The present moment is all I have. I am happiest when I can relax in it and not waste it on worry or fast-forwarding.
2. It is what it is. No amount of mental and emotional machinations will change what it is.
3. Whatever the outcome – good news/bad news – he calls/he doesn’t call – it arrives/it doesn’t arrive..I will deal with it. I am capable and strong and can be flexible.
4.The best I can do for myself is to continue my life as I would do if I weren’t waiting.
Remembering the rules is the trick, isn’t it?
Your opinion is your opinion, your perception is your perception–do not confuse them with “facts” or “truth”. Wars have been fought and millions have been killed because of the inability of men to understand the idea that EVERYBODY has a different viewpoint. John Moore
I’m wondering when my opinions become the strongest. Or more to the point – when am I the most vociferous about them?
Many of my opinions are strong. Although I no longer see most things in black and white, I still veer toward the more intense colors of any subject. What, however, looses my tongue and makes me argumentative about them?
Alcohol, of course.
Anger, when aroused can create some heated arguments.
Fear, which is the basis of anger anyway.
Last night I could hear my ideas flying about like razors even as my friends gently leaned away from me. And so I spent my go-to-sleep drowse and my wake-up-thoughts coming to understand my behavior. I must be compassionate with myself and not spiral into self-denigration.
I have been a little bit ill too long without answers. My energy is beaten down. My confidence is shaken. Fear trembles beneath the surface of the unanswered questions. Anger bubbles up in defense.
I owe some apologies this morning.
Have not fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it. Salvador Dali
Much has been said about perfection. The word is batted around loosely. The search for perfection is treated as the path to nirvana.
And for me, the need to be perfect is a bit of a hell. My struggle toward acceptance runs head-on to my need for perfection.I am constantly amazed at how many of my feelings of inadequacy, of anger, of fear, (I could go on forever); when stripped to their naked core are my need to be perceived and to perceive myself as perfect.
I recently had a glaring lesson in how ridiculous this is. My blood sugar was tipping about recently together with some other symptoms that could have been related to diabetes. What? Me?
No matter what the outcome of a doctor visit, I felt sure I could handle my issues with diet and exercise. But me? Diabetes? When I pride myself on my healthy lifestyle?*
What was I really afraid of? Being wrong. In the face of what could be a damaging disease I found these little squiggy places in my brain that weren’t worrying about the outcome as much as about admitting what was happening to me.
Give it up, girl! Be human. Live with who you are. (I’ll keep talking to myself.)
*I didn’t visit the concepts of genetic predispostitions, aging with its breakdown of parts, etc.