Have not fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it. Salvador Dali
Much has been said about perfection. The word is batted around loosely. The search for perfection is treated as the path to nirvana.
And for me, the need to be perfect is a bit of a hell. My struggle toward acceptance runs head-on to my need for perfection.I am constantly amazed at how many of my feelings of inadequacy, of anger, of fear, (I could go on forever); when stripped to their naked core are my need to be perceived and to perceive myself as perfect.
I recently had a glaring lesson in how ridiculous this is. My blood sugar was tipping about recently together with some other symptoms that could have been related to diabetes. What? Me?
No matter what the outcome of a doctor visit, I felt sure I could handle my issues with diet and exercise. But me? Diabetes? When I pride myself on my healthy lifestyle?*
What was I really afraid of? Being wrong. In the face of what could be a damaging disease I found these little squiggy places in my brain that weren’t worrying about the outcome as much as about admitting what was happening to me.
Give it up, girl! Be human. Live with who you are. (I’ll keep talking to myself.)
*I didn’t visit the concepts of genetic predispostitions, aging with its breakdown of parts, etc.