Tag Archives: family

Something New – Part 7

“The challenge of the Silver Gate is to reconnect to our regenerative forces and stay connected to them. Many cultures of the world have traditional practices to accomplish this.” Angeles Arrien
I am intrigued by an Ancient European custom cited in this section that is still practiced in some areas of the world. The challenge is to do something never before tried each month. The custom is to do it on one’s birthdate, but I will play fast and loose with that.
* * *
This month’s challenge was the most enlightening for me. It involved struggle rather than enjoyment. Self-examination rather than adding a layer of sophistication or skill.
I went on one of my “spotting” trips this month. One of those lovely times when I am able to join someone I love to share an experience. I started this many years ago as my family began to spread and travel. I wanted to be able to see them, to visualize them in place when they came to mind.
I have taken trans-Atlantic and trans-Pacific flights. I have driven to college dorms, flown to many cities and states, made quick visits, long sojourns, and everything in between. And it has all been good.
Being a frugal traveler I have learned to work with the system. I can book flights, find cut-rate hotels, and suss out the best car deal across the U. S. And I have a way of using every resource available.
Early in the month I left the West Coast on a Saturday afternoon and landed in Orlando, Florida to pick up a rental car and drive for over an hour to the town where one of my college grandsons is doing a research internship. Even though it was still early on my time, I was worn out from travel as I stood in line at the rental counter.
“Do you want insurance?”
“I believe I already paid for that.”
“But do you want extra?”
“No”
Blah, blah, blah…
“How about gas? Do you want to pay in advance?”
Wearily, I looked at him with the pen poised. Did I want to prepay for gas? I had NEVER in my life left anything on the table for a rental agency. I wasn’t sure how much driving I would do. I wasn’t going that far, was I?
“Yes, I’ll prepay!”
What????
Thus ended my personal hell at the counter and began my personal hell in my mind. As I drove, I watched for the gas gauge to fall. I had (of course) rented a compact. How much gas did it even use? What if I only used a quarter of a tank? What had I done.
My grandson and I laughed ruefully over my dilemma. He knows me. He understood – in a way.
I found myself going against all I believe in ecologically, leaving the car running as I waited in the parking lot of his University. Sure it was hot, but I would not normally sit in a car with the air-conditioner running when I could get out and sit under a tree. Was I willing to sacrifice my principals to use $15 worth of gas rather than leave some in the tank?
Really?
I spent a lot of my alone time in self-examination. What was really at the base of my discomfort? I knew why I had agreed to prepay. I was exhausted and facing an unknown drive as well as a late evening return on the night before my flight. I had no idea of the surrounds of the Orlando airport or where I would gas up when I returned the car. I could predict my anxiety as I faced my car return deadline. What was the perfect point at which to gas up? What would my timing be like if I spent every squeezed the joy from each spare moment my grandson could spare me?
I had to face my issue. It was a matter of self-worth. Which was more important (since I could well afford it) – saving a few dollars or making this quick trip across the country an enjoyable time with the least stress possible?
It took a lot of self-talk to convince myself that my first instinct was the right one. Yes, it was an enlightening challenge this month.
The Student
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Filed under Angeles Arríen, The Challenge, The Second Half of Life, The Silver Gate

Once more, Gratitude

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was ‘Thank You’, that would suffice.” Tolle

My daughter has been deathly ill in the last few days since she returned from an extended trip in India. 

I am grateful…

That her husband (with my strong support) demanded that she visit the doctor.

That she made it home before she collapsed. (She did, however, faint on the return flight.) But, had she been critical in India, I might not have been able to reach my virtual friends there in time to find the path to the best care possible. And we, her family, would not have been with her in this crucial time to help with decisions and offer encouragement.

That she has personal friends who are physicians and that they somehow (I don’t yet know how) heard of her collapse and appeared in emergency room to help manage the care that may well have saved her life.

That her brother, who was with her in India  and was also becoming ill on his return, is suffering only with a normal flu and is doing fine.

That she has stepped away from the precipice and will soon be out of the woods on her slow road to recovery.

How could I not be grateful that we are able to reach out and hold her in our arms and whisper words in her ears.

Thank you

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Filed under Eckhart Tolle, Quotations, World Religions

Today’s Affirmation

P1040346 EphesusI am not concerned with the future.

I have spent so many years…perhaps most of my life trying to be something, anything. My present focus is trying to be content with who I am, where I am, and how I am.
Self-acceptance in its broadest form.
I have always been blessed. I have never had goals but must certainly have had a vision of how I wanted my life to be; and perhaps I still have a vision. Most of all, tho, I am in a place of gratitude for every aspect of my life. My family, my home, my friends, my health…all is exactly what it shouldn’t be. I can’t think of what could make it better.
If I have a hope, it is to be grateful for whatever comes to me. If something is taken away, then I hope that I can be grateful for having had it. If more is received, I hope I take without expectation and in a spirit of abundance which will allow me to know that I have always been and will always be blessed with whatever I really need.

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Filed under Self-Acceptance Project