In my second month (January) I have had a more difficult time deciding what my be a stretch for me.
Tag Archives: retreat
In late November/early December I attended a retreat at Teotihuacan in Mexico. Although I was unfamiliar with the leaders of the retreat, I have studied Toltec Wisdom. And I was committed. My daughter-in-law had invited me to join her and I would never refuse the opportunity to be with her.
I knew that my attitude during the week could influence her enjoyment of the experience.. I must behave in a manner which would be helpful to her in this pursuit and not be an impediment. So when asked to state my intention for the retreat, I said with no hesitation, “To be open and without expectation”.
I am rarely in resistance mode when in retreat. Interesting…
Does this mean that I am only happy when I can do exactly what I choose without interference and without opposition?
Does this mean that I am not doing anything worthwhile when I am alone and away from my scheduled life?
Does it mean that I work better without a schedule? Well, yes. It does. I am the most happy and productive when I am following my nose.
And I have not yet found a way to live this way in my daily life when not in retreat. For me, life involves commitment. Although I no longer work for pay, I still have responsibilities…jobs, if you will.
I’m wondering, though, if much of my scheduling is self-imposed. Perhaps I would get dinner on the table even if I didn’t decide what time I MUST begin. Perhaps in my volunteer job I could be more spontaneous in my visitations.
I’m not sure.
Daily life in community seems to involve some commitment and a part of that is to create a timetable that works for others as well as myself.
The answer will be, I think, somewhere in the realm of looking forward to commitments once they are made instead of allowing my automatic resistance to sully the experiences. Attitude will make the difference.
It will also involve acceptance.
And, as usual, I will remember to be grateful that I am healthy and active and capable of doing the things I do and that I am important in the lives of the people who are important to me.