Your opinion is your opinion, your perception is your perception–do not confuse them with “facts” or “truth”. Wars have been fought and millions have been killed because of the inability of men to understand the idea that EVERYBODY has a different viewpoint. John Moore
I’m wondering when my opinions become the strongest. Or more to the point – when am I the most vociferous about them?
Many of my opinions are strong. Although I no longer see most things in black and white, I still veer toward the more intense colors of any subject. What, however, looses my tongue and makes me argumentative about them?
Alcohol, of course.
Anger, when aroused can create some heated arguments.
Fear, which is the basis of anger anyway.
Last night I could hear my ideas flying about like razors even as my friends gently leaned away from me. And so I spent my go-to-sleep drowse and my wake-up-thoughts coming to understand my behavior. I must be compassionate with myself and not spiral into self-denigration.
I have been a little bit ill too long without answers. My energy is beaten down. My confidence is shaken. Fear trembles beneath the surface of the unanswered questions. Anger bubbles up in defense.
I owe some apologies this morning.
I am such a work in progress. I meditate, I listen, I think that I inculcate concepts into my daily living and then I react so differently than I would like that I wonder who I really am.
My ego is huge. My need for love is sometimes overwhelming. My path is sometimes obliterated by my bounces against the wall of what is.
Yet I must truly love myself in order to love others.
God grant me the serenity…
It has come to my attention that I am not a nice person. Have I ever been?
I think I was once.
Yet lately I am struggling with thoughts and reactions that show a side of me that I can’t admire.
What am I to do?
I’m going to start by being honest. I’m going to get to the heart of the unhappiness in my life that is allowing me to live with envy, distaste, anger, distance, criticism of others, etc.
I am moving (once more?) into the person who is so joyous that she loves to see joy in others. A person who is so comfortable in herself that she is drawn to those who are who they are. I may be quite old to be working so hard on this.
But it is never to late to let the sunshine into my life.