I’m a Fixer. …

I’m a fixer.  A doer.  An I’m-only-happy-when-there’s-forward-motion kind of gal.

Sometimes I just can’t sit still.  I must do something.  Even when nothing is required.

These are the times I can get myself into trouble.

I speak without thinking and say things that require backing down or apologizing.  I move without planning, getting myself committed to things I don’t want to do and bruising myself on whatever door I left open (dishwasher?) in order to dash to my next tsetse-fly moment.

I’ve been talking to myself and God about this.  When my inner instruction is to be still, what does that mean?

Because of my particular problems with ADD, I had to put on my calendar to meditate each morning (it’s now a habit). Otherwise I would just jump into my day without thought. Meditation doesn’t always quiet my mind, but it quiets my body for a time.  I have set aside (on said calendar) 35 minutes to step into silence and stillness.

My goal now is to add the same amount of time for meditation in the evening. It could work – by evening I am tired and ready to be still…

Perhaps this will take me further along the path of learning which could be construed as fixing myself.*

The Student

*I really don’t believe that I need fixing. Learning is not fixing…now if I could get that concept for all aspects of my life…


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March 13, 2015 · 9:20 am

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