Again…it’s about me!

Sometimes I just can’t get past myself to really listen and empathize. I don’t intend to co-opt others’ feelings but I open my mouth and my own story flows.

I did this to a friend recently. She is in deep grief after the death of a mutual friend’s wife. We were discussing his welfare when my lesser self stepped in with my personal narrative. How did it feel when I was there? How have I reacted in similar situations? Worst of all…what would I do if it were me?

I think of my responses as commiseration. Sharing loss and hardship create rapport.

And it’s all true.

But none of that is as valuable as a listening heart. Nothing is as important in a friendship as providing a safe haven without expectation and without judgment.

I owe my friend an apology. I hope I have the chance to listen again.

The Student

 

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Filed under Paths to Progress, Self-examination, Step 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves., When we know better, we do better

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