I have trouble coming to grips with my responsibility for my thoughts and feelings.
The first time I even became aware of the concept was in the late sixties reading I’m Okay, You’re Okay by Thomas A Harris, MD. Before that I was the typical “leaf caught in the tide of life”. As a young parent it was the first time I actually examined my thoughts and reactions as something with which to frame and re-create my “self”.
I learned to look at my thoughts from all directions. In the early seventies I began practicing Transcendental Meditation. Then in the late seventies I was jolted into a sense of self-responsibility by Dr. Wayne Dyer’s Your Erroneous Zones. I could cite countless gurus and my meditation practice which has come and gone through the years but is a now an integral part of my life.
And still my thoughts plague me.
I want to blame my moods, my reactions, my discomforts and irritations on whomever my teacher is at the moment. I like thinking that I would be more free, more thoughtful, more productive and more loving if anyone/everyone would just change.
And yet I know that I am the one who needs to change; to recognize and marshall the power of my thoughts. My thoughts are my own. No one else can dictate them.
I am my thoughts. They help me live my life as who I am in the way I have chosen. They can help me not dodge and dart in order to please or create my own suffering when I don’t please.
I must learn to easily wear the cloak of my responsibility for myself. It fits me well and needs no alterations.