Who will I be when I get there?

My husband asked me why I must leave.

Why would I take myself from everything comfortable to a more primitive life where I must carry some of my personal necessities in order to live a semblance of my normal life?

Why would I leave my loving circle of friends and family to live in a place where I am known, but I’m not a part of the life.  I have acquaintances but there is a language barrier to  having a communicative friendship.

Why would I leave my house with all of it’s conveniences and luxuries (which I love), to go to a place where I am constantly sweeping dust, swatting mosquitoes and heating water on the stove to wash my dishes and/or my underwear by hand?

It’s simple and sad.

I have not learned well to be myself.  I cannot release my dependency on and responsibility for the people in my life who I love and cherish.  I must remove myself to be myself.

I’m working on that.

The Student

 

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2 Comments

Filed under Living our best life, When you stray from your center, you get lost

2 responses to “Who will I be when I get there?

  1. It is precisely to get a reality check on our attachments to mundane matters that such getting away is necessary. I do not know quite what your routine in the new life style is, but if it is some kind of a spiritual retreat, all the better.

    • Life Student

      My routine is a non-routine. Except for meditation, reflection and writing I do exactly what is necessary when it is necessary or feels good: eat when hungry, wash dishes and clothes when I need cleanliness and order, read for enjoyment or enlightenment and sweep the floor of leaves and dust once in a bit. Aaaahhh!

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